Funeral Decisions

Almost 40 years ago we purchased cemetery plots in the Kansas  City area.  I wasn't even 30 years old yet, but I'd already lost my father, and even a couple of friends.  I was convinced I wouldn't live to see my 30th birthday, and felt we needed to do something about it.  In looking back now, I'm surprised I was even thinking about being prepared for such a thing.

We purchased TWO plots for $650 and paid by installment until they were finally ours.  Good thing is that I'm now approaching my 71st birthday and I still haven't needed mine!  The bad thing about all that is that we haven't lived in the area for almost 30 years (lots of 30s in this post!) so we  (1) don't want to have our bodies taken back to Missouri, and we (2) do want to be cremated.

Today the value of those plots is $2,895 EACH!!  Quite a spike on our initial investment of $325 each.  Wowza.  The cemetery is not allowed to re-buy our plots or help us sell them, and have instead suggested we list them in church newsletters or on Craigslist, eBay, or Facebook Marketplace.  We haven't had any luck in selling them through any of those lists.

After another conversation with the cemetery people, I discovered there's a cemetery very close to me that will honor our agreement with the first company.  The problem is that for me to transfer the property will cost me some money because their plots now sell for upwards of $3,000.  Since I only want the plots so that I can resell them, I'm not too excited about putting more money into them.

I did discover that I can transfer them to the mausoleum so they can save our ashes, and the cost of that is $2,995.  At least it's just another $100 each.   We would still have to pay to BE cremated, and while I imagined my ashes being scattered in some remote vacation location, I do realize that in many areas, that's not legal.  I really don't know why they'd care about ashes when there's a lot worse stuff going into the water, but that's only my opinion.

I guess it's worth going to the cemetery and having a conversation with them face to face to see what's the best option for us.

So what's the reason for this post? Consider this:

1.  The cost of funerals and burials is only going up!
2.  Have you made a decision about what you want your family to do in the event of your death?  Cremation?  Burial?  Location?
3.  Do you have life insurance you will be able to use to cover the expense?
4.  Are you aware that there will also be other fees at the time of burial, even if you have a pre-paid plan AND insurance?

The list goes on and on.

No one wants to talk about such things, but it's definitely something you need to be talking about with your family.  While we are dealing with this pandemic, we are all hoping to get through it and get back to normal, but we have already lost one friend and it's a miracle that we didn't lose a family member.  Neither of them could have possibly seen this coming.

All They'll Need to Know is a guide to help walk you through the steps...

Bucket List: Preserving Photos

What's on your bucket list? 

A friend of mine was diagnosed with terminal cancer late last year.  She was optimistic up until about two weeks before her passing, and at that time, she only had one thing on her bucket list.  She wanted to go through pictures with her family and share what she knew about them.

The problem was that she had a huge tub of photos that weren't organized.  With her rapidly failing physical condition, it seemed to me to be an undaunting task. 

Her desire to go through this process with her children pushed me to do something similar.  For several years now, I've been taking pictures of photos with my phone and adding them to my own personal history blog.  As I uploaded the picture, I wrote about what memory I had of it.  One of the pictures was one of my mother holding me as a toddler.  It was filled with wrinkles and was definitely well worn.  There were several years that I didn't live with my mother, and for me, this picture spoke volumes because I think my mother must have carried it with her and looked at it frequently.  It wasn't the faces in the picture as much as it was the wear and tear of the picture that touched me so deeply.



With the photos uploaded, I wanted to share them with others.  I gave all of the pictures related to my sister and her family to my niece.  My sister didn't want them because she's passed on most of her photos to her kids, but this niece and her family loved looking at them.  I am happy to share them with her because they belong with her.

So think about your own bucket list.  Maybe travel isn't possible right now because of the covid-19 shutdown, but what about those things you can do at home?   Going through old photos and at least organizing them and writing a description of the people or places in them, can bring a great amount of joy during a time when so many are feeling afraid or anxious. 

While you're at it, why not snap a picture of your photo, or scan it so you can preserve it forever?  I love Google's Blogger for my own personal blog, but there are other photos that don't "fit" in the blog because of the content, and I've saved them to an external hard drive.   For me, it was a great relief to know that if I were to suffer loss through fire or flood, my photos, or at least pictures of them, were preserved.


Note:    I'm not sure where this picture was taken, but I would imagine it was in the house my parents lived in when they first married.  They were happy.  They had started a family.  My mother kept the lamps in the picture throughout her life.  They meant something to her because they bought them as a married couple.   While I may feel a tinge of sadness that their marriage ended in divorce, it makes me very happy to feel that at one time they were in love and looked forward to a future together.

Gather Important Documents

This is such a great time to go through your files and gather important papers. We lost a friend to Covid-19 a few weeks ago and his wife is spending her days trying to locate paperwork to file claims. It may take months to get it all settled. Better to be prepared now, and what better time than when you're home and have time to work on those projects. 

All They'll Need to Know is a great resource for helping with this process.  See Here

Check Your Beneficiaries

Is there one person in your home who handles all the financial paperwork? If you're that person, have you thought ahead to educate your partner on what to do if you're not there? Have you done all you can to protect your spouse and your children/grandchildren?

There are things to do now that can simplify things later. One thing you can do is make sure you have the correct beneficiary/ies on your accounts. If you've had some life changes (i.e., divorce) make sure you've made those corrections. Most banks will let you add beneficiaries online; others require that you come to the bank and do it in person. Either way, it's a small amount of time to spend now to help save your family a lot of heartache later.

This won't cover everything, but it's a good place to start.

Flood Insurance

It's hurricane season. Did you know that flood insurance takes 30 days to go into effect? Having recently moved from property that flooded, and suffering losses during Hurricane Harvey, I can tell you that the physical loss of items can be a tremendous emotional drain as you document losses and go through the clean up process.

Now is a good time to check with your homeowners or renters insurance agent to see if flood insurance is a good idea for you.

Preserving Nuts

This morning, in going through some boxes to see what I can donate to a giveaway at the church, I opened a box that contained about twelve jars of nuts that I dry packed back in 2011.   I had almost forgotten I had them.  We have moved twice since then, so it's almost like Christmas when I open a box these days, and especially when it's something I want to keep!

I didn't know if the nuts were even any good anymore, so rather than just shoving them under the bed, I opened one.  First, I did the sniff test.  They smelled fine.  I popped a pecan in my mouth, and it tasted as fresh as the day I canned it.  I was very pleasantly surprised, and grateful I had thought to process them.   If you just bring a bag of nuts home from the store, they will quickly go rancid if not frozen/refrigerated, or eaten.  I'm sorry to say that I've learned that from experience.

So how do you dry can nuts?

I used my FoodSaver.  I just poured the nuts into quart jars, used the jar sealer attachment, and let it go.  The FoodSaver pulls the air out of the jar, and seals it.  It has a strong hold if done right, because today I had a bit of a difficult time just getting that lid off.

If you don't have a FoodSaver, there are other ways to do it, but I'm not going to recommend them here.  I've been researching it online, and too many people have commented on how canning jars are not to be used in an oven, and that putting them in the microwave, filled with nuts, causes moisture, and therefore has the potential of mold forming.

You may want to do your own research, but whatever you decide to do, make sure your jar looks dry inside, and you have a tight seal.  You should hear that familiar "pop" that I love when something seals properly.

This is a great way to take advantage of fresh nuts, or sales during the year.  Give it a try!

Emergency Preparedness Important Checklist

This is a great checklist provided by the City of Houston.  www.readyhoustontx.gov

With the COVID-19 pandemic right now, it would have been a good idea to use this list on the right of the page to help prepare for your family for staying in place.    The list includes masks, disinfectants, and other things that help keep you safe.

The list on the left side of the page give you a sampling of what can be found in All They'll Need to Know.    If you had AT LEAST the things listed here, you'd have more than most people do.  

We have a friend who went to the emergency room on April 1, testing positive for COVID-19.  During his two week stay, his wife wasn't allowed to be with him, and in the end, he passed away.  She's been going through paperwork since April 14th, trying to get his affairs settled.

I have another friend who is battling cancer, and although she received her diagnosis in November 2019, just two weeks ago she started failing fast, and doctors told her to get her affairs in order.  I was there earlier this week to witness documents being signed by her to help her family during their deepest time of stress and transition.   

In speaking to groups about the importance of having this information in one place, I've actually had people say, "Oh, I don't need to do that.  I have a will.  Besides, when I'm gone, I'm gone.  My spouse can figure it out."    What do you say to that person who is so insensitive that he just doesn't care about the mess he/she is leaving for their spouse?

This isn't just about dying, though.  There are lots of reasons we may have to evacuate our homes, and if you ever have to do that, because of ensuing wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, or flooding, it is important that you have this information in your 72 hour kit so you can carry it out with you.  When it's time to file claims, you're going to need all the information you can get your hands on.